Oi, the past 30 hours have been so very draining; traumatizing, too. It is only after the balm of consolation from my mom and other friends has taken effect that I am able to write about this without giving in to hysterics.
This particular adventure began with the best of intentions, as many of my adventures do. I got up on Thursday with the hopes of deep cleaning everything in my living room: moving furniture, dusting blinds, vacuuming ceilings, the whole nine yards.
Now, a little backstory. When Mom and Dad were helping me move in, we killed a number of resident spiders. Not a terrible amount, but definitely more than I was used to. Dad bought a large bag of spider barrier, and surrounded the apartment building with a good layer of the stuff. Since he left, I have been noticing more and more spiders in my apartment.
Back to the story. I began to clean, scooting furniture out of the way so I could vacuum every surface I could get to. As I cleaned, I kept noticing that more and more spiders were skittering out from behind chairs, inside my divider screens, between my storage bins, and over my books. Panic was steadily rising up within me, as you may imagine. For those of you who don't know me well, the sight of a single spider is enough to give me a severe case of the heebie-jeebies. After an hour and a half, I had killed over a dozen large spiders, and nearly as many centipedes. I soon reached the limits of my courage; I just couldn't stand the thought of finding one more horrid insect among my newly-placed belongings. I decided to take my mind off of the spiders for a while by doing some laundry.
And if you think that this is the end of my entomological woes, you're dead wrong. It gets worse.
I sorted my laundry, and took the first load into the storage room that doubles as the shared laundry room. The room looks and feels decidedly unhealthy, with the buildup of fifty years of grime on every surface. I have always tried to spend as little time as possible in that room. So, I quickly put my load in the wash, poured some soap in, put in the required dollar's worth of quarters, and ran back to my room. Just as I had closed the door, which separates the storage room and my hallway, I felt a prickling sensation on my legs. I looked down to find that my legs and feet were thickly speckled with tiny, black, hopping dots. Yes, my friends, I was covered with fleas. This addition to the ranks of insects actively invading my home was the proverbial final straw. I called my mom and burst into tears, begging for advice and sympathy. Mom was generous in both areas, and before long I had calmed down enough to call my landlord and beg for aid. My request must have been particularly persuasive, because he immediately told me to find and hire any exterminator who could come that day to treat the building, and that he would take care of the bill.
So, I am banished from my apartment for a good chunk of the day today, letting all the poison fumes get into every cranny of that building and killing off every small living creature it can find. And I sincerely hope that their deaths will be of the most painful kind.
Oi, it's been a long 30 hours.